i carry on because i carry this,
it is both weight and goal,
it is both smile and swallow,
down,

immeasurable distance
through visceral time
i drag it along
slowing
slowing

and i look back again-
my looming trail behind
my eyes feel the tracks:
it carried me as well.

bright suns await,
i wish i could promise

this

to you.
but i know:
like jewels sparkling in the dark,
you reflect some distant light
in a color

immeasurable.

i'm running in place,
wringing out a rag
ridding the fabric of every flavor;
aspirations melt when the
power
goes
down.

i'm running in place,
wringing out a rag
air is underneath my feet;
solar systems fall when the
sun
goes
out.


and every word on their lips
praises potential
and everything they do
looks so good on
paper.

and every one these people
has ground to run on
and every one their smiles
looks so good on
faces.


i'm running in place
wringing out a rag.
but i all do is lag behind
cars filled with
all
my
friends.

a paint bucket on a stool, middle of the room
thaws
tips
s p i l l s
(what was the floor)
with the release of emotion shattering
splatters sadly spread
32 colors grow toward the walls
and slowly engulf them,
until everything becomes a liquid mess
smooth in two dimensions
running
up,
up,
up
each drip a rising sun
lines pulling infinity in, in in in in in inin
(condenses)
becomes a black ceiling spot
begins to drip a spool of silk
which widens into diamond downpours
forever filling

serpents as smiles strangled cries

her sullen visage drained the room

i wouldn't listen to her message,

laugher i would prefer,

as i was so unsure.

mourning eyes stared straight forward

we did not cry, but very soon

though you and I shot subtle glances,

the pain we would defer,

we both were still unsure.

all departed separate ways

into the bright but frigid air

bittersweet taste on every tongue

the growing pain overwhelming laughter

as every heart will remain unsure.

i've fallen in love with
(archetypes, and flowers.
lipstick, skirts and shoes.
memories of past love,
those shooting-star feelings.
eyes, lips, high cheekbones.
holding hands
and walking
and sitting
and everything
but) you.

gulping chug-of-engine
jerks my body down the street.
defeated, i woke up late
to pawn it off (your diamond ring.)
he's got my head unless i cash in...
tonight was the night.

"sorry."
i've got a new love, baby.
it's in my brain-
right now, and i'm rolling, rolling again.
powdered gasoline powers me down the highway,
and i think i'm free
for these seconds-

smashed glass.
which way is up?
tonight was the night,
or so i thought
i was free.

messy hair, smiley face
a shirt i like (very much)
my favorite flower in your hair,
unrefined, witty.


you. you scared me tonight.
"what would i do"-i thought.
i don't want to answer that.
when will you see who you are?

where, when, how,
now, wish now.
not why, because
"hello?"
all i have are five senses
and i'll use them all on you.